URGENT APPEAL to all Voters!

The following appeal was forwarded by a top Philippine broadcaster:

If you're planning to vote for a PartyList group in May, please
consider your vote carefully, as only the right votes will be counted.
We need partylist groups who will truly fight for our needs as a
people instead of their own vested interests or that of the
formerly-wealthy elite. A partylist group that is not red, or yellow,
or black and white. People who will truly have the well-being of the
Economist and the Rule of Lawyers at heart!

It is in this light that we humbly submit to you a list of the
PartyList organizations that we hope you will remember come May 14. We
present to you... our M-R-P, our Most Recommended PartyList groups:

AAAAAAA - Alyansa ng mga taga-Alabang, Angeles, Apalit, Antipolo at
Aklan na kamag-anak ng mga Arroyo (7A!)
Nominees:
1) Aaron Arroyo
2) Abel Arroyo
3) Ace Arroyo

AAAAAA - Asosasyon ng mga taga-Alaga ng Aquarium, Aso at Alimango ng
mga Arroyo (6A!)
Nominees:
1) Adrian Arroyo
2) Agnes Arroyo
3) Alice Arroyo

AAAAAABA - Aktibong Atletang Atenista, Assumptionista At iba pang
Alalay ng Barangay Arroyo (ABANTE ARROYO!)
Nominees:
1) Amy Arroyo
2) Anthony Arroyo
3) Arthur Arroyo

This appeal is brought to you by your tax pesoses, Comelec Chairman
Ben Abalosses and most importantly, the Presidential Office of
External Affairs... Guiding Worthy PartyList groups to Eternity and
Beyond Since 2004!

Don't forget our slogan! "Team Unity, Totally Arroyo!" (T.U.T.A. all
the way!)

p.s. Kung sakaling nalito po kayo sa mga ads ng aming mga kandidato,
gusto lang po namin linawin na HINDI PO tumatakbo si Boy Abunda. Baka
po sa 2010...

Above political joke is an email going around sent by Mila Aguilar.

POLITICS in the Afterlife

In time for the big fiesta that comes every 3 years comes this election joke from one of the members of Association of Bansalenos better known as ABW sent to this blogger by Leila Noel-Rispens in the Netherlands.

A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the senator.” Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven."

"I'm sorry but we have our rules," replies St. Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that the time fly, before he realizes it, the senator has to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven."

The next 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflects for a minute, then answers, "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a beautiful club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now there is only a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"

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Check out Bansalenos new fund raising project and mission, see how the internet brings people together despite the physical distance.

Overseas Filipinos' legitimate aspirations glaringly absent in electoral debates

AN OPEN LETTER FOR THE DEBATE

First of all, congratulations! This letter comes with our deepest anticipation for the forthcoming debate billed as "2007 Senatorial Debate — Moving the Economy Forward," in the forum organized by Philippines Inc. together with the Philippine Chamber of Commerce and Industry, the Employers Confederation of the Philippines, the Philippine Exporters Confederation, and the Filipino-Chinese Chamber of Commerce and Industry this coming March 14, 2007.

Read the rest of the article........

Migrants Manifesto for Issue based Electoral Contest

We, the Overseas Filipinos worldwide, urge each and everyone in the coming May electoral contest to implore all political parties, emerging parties and their respective candidates to bring forth a platform based campaign so that the electorate can choose credible persons who are worthy to lead the nation.

Read the rest of the article............

JACK OF ALL TRADE

MY RESUME

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work! I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working as a Pattern Maker, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

I LOVE MY NEW JOB!!!

E-mailed by Grace Cabactulan in Netherlands ending up with me so it get posted on Humor .